As a legal professional specialized in family law, I can confirm that divorce cases are quite many in this 21st century. Most divorce lawyers can ascertain this fact since they confirm they are handling a number of gruesome divorce cases each passing day.
But, honestly, before I even take any divorce case, I take my time to enquire on the major reasons that make couples to contemplate of a divorce. I further take my time to try and see if their issues can be resolved to avoid divorce.
There are staggering excuses given as to why people divorce, I thought of sharing some amazing ideas on how to save your marriage before it goes down the divorce lane. This piece is a special professional advice from a divorce lawyer following the many family cases I have handled in my professional career.
Have you ever thought about the pain of going through a divorce and financial implications in the waiting? If you had a slight idea you would think otherwise and head to resolving whatever problems you have and focus on building a strong marriage. Let me get straight to the answers on how to solve marital problems that are rocking your home with tangible solutions that will most definitely help in building a strong marriage.
1. Take control of your emotions
Marital problems can be such a mess and if emotions are allowed to take control of the situation, it is likely to get even worse. Simply take a deep breath and focus on finding solutions to the problems that you are facing. If you let emotions take control of you, then the resolution is going to be difficult and life generally becomes one big mess.
2. Get motivation
Personal motivation is all you need, to begin with in case of marital problems. Just try and forget all that is happening even if it is for a few hours. Move on with the rest of your life like nothing is happening and soon you will have a fresh perspective on how to handle the issues. You need immeasurable energy to face marital problems head on and it all begins with you.
No single marital problem has ever been solved with the victim sitting pretty passive and waiting for things to turn around and get better. You are the one to make them better and believe you can do it. If you need somebody to talk to then head straight and get a divorce lawyer’s advice on your situation.
3. Identify the problems
Look closely into yourself and find out where the problem is without throwing the blame game around; things won’t get any better with this attitude. Trying to get the things that are affecting your marriage and trying to change where you can go a long way in improving your marriage.
4. Focus on the major problem at hand
Sometimes when an issue comes up, couples tend to dig deeper into non-issues rather than focusing on the single major problem. Dragging past issue into the current problem only gets matters worse. Focusing on the major problem will greatly help in solving the situation rather than trying to work on everything all at once.
5. Be a good listener
Listening is quite different from waiting to respond. Real listening to your spouse will help you to understand the issues at hand. This may go a long way in solving the issues rocking your marriage. Always focus on holding good and healthy conversations without calling each other names and you will realize how effective it works in cooling down the emotions. A divorce lawyer can be essential in such talks to help neutralize the
conversations so as to reach an amicable agreement
6. Device new tactics to approach your marital issues
If you have been having marital problems for some time, it means something is really wrong in the approach tactics to your problems. Come up with new creative ways that you think will work out this time. Try to make a request on changes that you want your spouse to uphold and do it calmly by explaining why you need the changes.
7. Build confidence
You can do this by setting small family goals that are focused on building self-esteem and confidence in your marriage. Some couples are helpless in changing things around their marriage simply because they lack the confidence of doing it.
8. Welcome your differences
The biggest mistake many people do is trying to change their spouses to what they want them to be. In order avoid conflicts, gracefully appreciate your differences and understand each other with your differences. Always allow the vows you took to bind you “For Better For Worse”.
9. Silence works
This is a crucial weapon to marital breakups that many people don’t know about. This, however, does not mean ignoring your spouse but silence, when things are really bad, helps a lot in preventing more trouble. You, however, need to know when to remain silent and when not to. Many arguments are solved by letting go.
10. Always be honest
This is the mother of all tactics ever employed in resolving family problems. Always be honest to yourself and your spouse in everything concerning your marriage. Dishonesty is the mother of all family problems these days and the solution is trying as much as possible to remain honest.
If it is difficult to honestly speak to your spouse, it is good to be honest to an intermediary taking you through the resolution process, most probably a divorce lawyer that understands these issues.
11. Be best of friend
Let friendship be the foundation of your marriage. It is commonly said that friends do share anything and everything and always try not to hurt each other. Friends respect each other even in differences and continually love each other no matter what. A long lasting relationship is based on friendship and so is the case with marriage.
12. Keep dating and Show affection
Many couples leave dating once they get married. This should not be the case. Dating literally means spending time together and doing things that you love together. When this is incorporated in marriage, it brings good memories and shuts out problems that are rocking your marriage. This way, you may effectively avoid divorce.
Appreciating each other and showing affection should be a marital ritual whereby as couples you affirm your feelings to each other. A small “I Love You” note is critical alongside other acts of love like massaging among others.